hello peeps=)
i probably gonna make this post short, kinda sleepy now. I stayed up all night and made myself stay awake till 3 plus in the afternoon. my eyelids got too heavy and i surrendered, so i fell asleep>< but i only got to sleep for about 3 hours=( that's when my parents got home and my mum asked me to wake up and not to sleep so that i can actually sleep in the night. HAHAHA, my holiday lifestyle is so screwed up, i'm telling you! I don't sleep in the night. I sleep in the morning like 6-7ish and all the way to late afternoon, 4-5ish. This cycle continues for quite some time during this holiday. so i tell you, i'm starting to hate holidays! =(

holidays screw my body
holidays screw my emotions
holidays screw my mind
basically, holidays screw everything><
even my allowance got cut! GRRRRRR i wanna go back to school>< at least there's something i can do! what am i going to do to occupy myself for the rest of the holidays!!

(Blogger, you sucker! deleted this whole paragraph! damn you blogger! i have to retype everything again>< blogger sux big time!T.T)

i was talking to Jeannette just now and she mentioned about changing her phone, (heh she should nah XD like i said to her: "the phone that peeling skin? half naked?" when i mean half naked, i dun mean the dirty way! i mean like the stickers on the phone are starting to fall, so the phone is like bare. dun think dirty yo! and you should see jeannette's reaction XD) so i started to think about my next preyphone XD

i'm thinking....
NOKIA 5230
NOKIA 5530
NOKIA 5800
(upload pics in the next post=D)

i said probably! i din promise to keep this short and sweet XD

just found out that most of happy bang-ers are working this holiday and i am still slacking and rotting at home doing nothing at all. am i the last to find out? while the rest goes in groups doing something (at least more meaningful than mine), i feel so left out...because i wasn't even considered. its rather complicated at how things are turning out. its really weird. i feel like i am stranded on a lonely island and no one is here to rescue me. where's my prince when i need it the most? what are friends for? tell me before i really lose it. i hate the way i am feeling and whats leading me to it.

what are the true meanings to friends? teach me.

Yup! You gotta admit, babies are darn cute! especially when they smile or laugh=D

went over to ah yi's house today. Le ya definitely grew much bigger (and rounder XD)
AWWWW Le ya is soooo cute! especially when she laughs i think that's the first time i hear her laughter =.=

Then i came across The Wilkinson Quints.
I managed to look through their videos and their mum's blog.
AWWWWW they are a awesome family=D 7 kids to handle, WOW.
The quints are totally cute (3 pretty girls and 2 handsome boys).
Not forgetting their beautiful big sister, Kaiya and their handsome big brother, Riley.
Their mum is one darn beautiful mama! i guess good genes goes within the family=D
I remember one of the quints! Rustin! he's a red head=D
Kaiya and Riley are darn smart for their age,
The quints are 2 now =DD
awwww, dun ask me why i get so interested with this family, i have no idea too=P
i guess its just amazing to see such cute quints and family=D

awwww a meet babies day!=D

As i see him dance, i realise this is the guy i really love...
When he dances, he looks soooo handsome and heavenly.
As i hear him sing, i realise this is the guy i truly love...
When he sings, he sings with such strong feeling and emotions..
Junsu being himself, so dorky and funny...
This is exactly why i love him out of the 5.
Being funny, cute, charismatic, dorky, geeky, goofy, handsome, talented.

My heart goes out for him...
He truly is the guy i love, and fell for back in 2006.

this guy, my dolphin prince...
So silly, so goofy, such a dork, with cute charisma..
My guy,
Xiah Junsu.

OMG, i miss your performances soo much!
I wanna see you dance again! sing on stage again!

Junsu<333

Hello=D
I finally informed my parents about my results. Well, they seem kinda relieved to know that i passed all modules=D So, all is good=D Now, i can truly enjoy the holidays=D

Currently listening to Tohoshinki's Endlessly Sweet for a Japan commercial. Not bad=D (like when will i say TVXQ's song/s lousy XDDDD)

Oh man, i miss my TVXQ darlings so much><
With the lawsuit going on....
My Junsu has seriously gone missing=[ Totally no idea what is he doing, other than keep appearing in his dad's pizza shop....Damn, its a good opportunity to meet Junsu for real ok. Why the hell am i still in Singapore while i can be in Korea at this time!! SHIT
Its a golden opportunity to go Korea now ok....haiz....

Always keep the faith, justice will be given.
TVXQ will remain.
GO TVXQ! =DD
i love you=D

Hey people=D
i changed my blogskin! To something simple, not much difference from the previous one=)

Got my result for this semester and what can i say?
I wasn't exactly expecting anything, not for the worst or something better. Its just...i didn't know what to expect and also i didn't have much confidence in myself. Any how, my results stand at the average range. I'm feeling quite neutral about it. On a brighter side, at least i don't have to study the modules again or better still, don't have to face black horse again!=D Unless its just so happen that black horse is teaching my class one of the modules for next semester, then seriously, i have nothing to say but pure bad luck. I passed all my modules, but why am i hesitating to tell this to my parents? Perhaps i think it wasn't good enough for them to see. How should i tell them about it?

Went out with Janel on Wednesday (yes, the very day i got back my results).
Walked around Bugis and Far East Plaza.
Janel made me wait for half an hour before she arrived at Serangoon mrt=.=
Usually i don't wait for people but people waited for me (i am always late>< but i improved ok!)
While i was waiting for Janel, there was this mother with a little boy and a little girl. They made quite a big scene with the mother scolding the little girl. I'm not defending the girl since she was really naughty but the mother also shouldn't have scolded her in the public. In the end it ended with both the children crying.

When Janel (finally!) reached, i realized the similarity in our dressing for that day. I wore a (pale) pink top and she wore a (brighter) pink top. Both wearing demin grey skirt, and ballet pump. Chemistry XDDD After which, we trained down to Bugis.

At Bugis, we first headed to HELEN to check on the hat i wanted to get and only to found out the price was oh-my-goddness 40bucks. To me, its kinda expensive so i gave up purchasing it. Then we went to Ajisen for lunch. We both ordered the lunch menu; ramen+white fish+ice lemon tea.
Trained again to Orchard.

Reached Orchard and we charged towards the toilet XD we had stomachache ok! We're pushing the blame to Ajisen's white fish. Then we walked out of the Mrt and to Far East Plaza. Intially we walked the wrong direction for a long distance then i bought my green tea latte and walked back to the correct direction. Finally reached FEP.

At FEP, there is nothing to my likings>< even if i am at ohsofickle shop. So, spent quite some time there walking and widow shopping at the shops. oh! i found a damn cool store that sells nice and stylish rings! i would totally go in there again if i am in the 2NE1 style=D I was thinking to buy one of their rings for YT birthday XDDD Then we got tired so off we go!

Went to buy dinner and home sweet home=D

i conclude: when evon goes on a shopping trip, she buys food food and more food.
i bought curry baked rice (dinner), auntie anne and some bakerzin stuffs home.
i spent on food that day.
had the most toilet trips XD
janel and i have a totally different taste and style
wanna get so many things><
blogshops provides better designs.

kk i'm getting bored at blogging. That's all folks!
ah getting hungry><

sometimes i wonder...
Why is it so hard to be a human?
why is it so hard to achieve all that i want?
why is it so hard to be perfect?
why is it so hard to be a perfect human?

but no one is perfect....because humans make mistakes.
is it better to live in heaven or on earth?

i wish i could forget everything and start everything again.

where did my carefree self go?
where did those days go to?
why can't i see myself any more?

just like what the title said.
frustrated.
how can my feelings keep changing and changing?
DAMN FRUSTRATED
till the point that i am totally not in the mood to finish this post.
argh, damn it

why can't i feel my presence in your eyes?
i wish that i am your someone.
i hope so dearly that you won't be able to find my blog like how i found your blog.
><

Why is it so hard to keep this feeling down and if possible, burn it away?
Why does it die out and come back again and again?
Why can't i, just why can't i after so many times of attempts still can't get rid of this?
Its tearing me apart from who i use to be.
Its torturing me everyday, every hour, every minute and seconds as i come to think of it.
It kills, it hurts and its horrible.
Why? Why? Why?
Why can't i be so 'gentleman' enough to release it so freely?
Why? Why? Why?
Why am i still clinging to this feeling, even the bits of it?
As angry and frustrated i feel, i can't stop thinking, wishing and hoping.
Why? Why? Why?
Am i still so stupid and dumb?
WHY? WHY? WHY?

stupid fool, can't you let it go once and for all?
IDIOTIC HUMAN.
said so many times that you have let it go and blah blah blah...in the end? you're back to square 1. Found yourself being stupid dumb and ridiculous. Wanna knock some senses out of myself, but never really succeed.

BIG BIG FOOL EVER

Any way today had spastics outing and Mel, Claire, Daniel, JJ and myself=)
Although its a pity that Lenny couldn't join us for the spastics outing , we still had a great time together, cycling and laughing=D It must have been a long time since i laughed so hard. Today, laughed till stomach really hurt=D next time we shall go ice skating or wake boarding?=DD Actually today i wanted to trick everyone to go kallang and ice skate...but oh well, the plan was...haiz.

why must you torture my heart and my soul?
Showing me heaven then pull me back to hell.
life's roller coaster journey, flying to the sky and diving down to hell.

My foolish heart that can't stand firm on its decision.
Easily swayed by the desired's actions.
It only took a few moments to sway its determination and it took a whole lot more effort to make this heart settle the determination that it finally had found the courage to do so.
And just a by a few minutes, determination came crumbling down, pits and pieces.
How fragile can a heart be?
This come and forth experiences that the heart face, is so tiring, tough and torturing.
Challenging enough to control this heart's emotions and feeling.
Why, oh lord, why does this heart even exist?
or maybe, why must the desired make the heart go through all this?
my oh my...
this heart.....belongs to me.

11 September 2009

i have break through my foolish self today=D
Finally doing the actions than just saying it. that is to forget about the feeling i held on and completely letting it go.
I guess nothing will be able to change this determination.

Ok! i shall search for my new eye candy! HAHAHAHA
if you know me well, i have a lot eye candys! hahaha my newest one for idols is NICK KHUN.
awww that cute, funny handsome guy=D
of course not forgetting my junsu=D he's my silly guy=D
but all those are not being realistic sooooo hahaha ok! new eye candy for real! XDDDD

i wanna go shopping soon~ my clothes are so old that it hurts to wear them over and over again><
and i am hungry now! there is food at home but are labeled as junk food. and my sisters dun allow me to eat them! at least within their sight...which means if i secretly go out and eat those...they wont even know!=DDD unless its so unlucky that when i carry out the mission of sneakingly eating forbidden food was bumped by them=( I AM HUNGRY!!!

i hate you.