it's wednesday..
they say we have monday blues but why am i having blues every other days too?

maybe it's because i can't adapt to my poly life.
today, i just want to escape from reality and run back, return to the time in secondary school.
for some reasons, i feel so sad, disappointed and missed so much, wanting to go back, this much.

i feel so tired in poly life.
my poly friends are nice and great people but somehow, it's just feels different.
it feels close but yet...
but my clique, it's completely different, it's close to heart and it's...something as close and as comfortable as family.

i feel as in i have to package myself everyday in poly. i feel tired, tired of trying to...stay close.
i dun even have to try in secondary because i know i can always rely on my clique.
now, it's different and it's scary.
to face it alone, to try to be bold, to stay strong.

it's hard but what can i do?
i chose this path and now i just have to walk through this for the 3 years.

today, i walked back from kovan to my house.
with my bag and hands filled, i should have taken the easy option, to take bus home.
it was so hot, the bright sun sending down it's torturing ray down, scorching hot.
sweaty and sticky.
still, i dun regret taking this route back home.

the route home was so familiar.
we use to walk this route together, laughing as we head home.
even though we're toking in small little groups but we're always strong together.

i walked and looked.
it was only months ago that i was walking down the same route with my friends but now, i'm walking, alone.
to be left alone. it feels so..

then i realise,
how much i miss you guys.
how much i miss those days.
how much i want to spend just one more day with you guys and relive those moments.

nowadays, i kept asking people if they wanted to go out.
but i'm always so disappointed.

to relive the lost moments.

i feel so stressed now.
maybe i will get used to this soon.

our distance, increases as we move on.
it's sad to see, how ignorant we are to observe the distance that are increasing.
it's disappointing to see, us falling apart.
it's also depressing to see, how envious i was when my poly friends were chatting away happily with their sec friends when i...sit here blogging how much i miss them.

it's the difference.
it's upsetting to know, we are not what we are like...

wake up evon and you will adapt to your new poly life as soon as possible. it's only time that will pull you closer.