there is a lot of things in this world that you want...
but...
you just can't have it.
deep down i know it's impossible, but i still stubbornly chose to hold on to it.
i still yearn for a chance to shoot for the moon.
i just hope, this aren't going to be hard for me to handle.
♥
Saturday, February 28, 2009
♥ be strong
yes, be strong. that's what i'm going to tell myself. BE STRONG.
no one told me that i was to go through a lesson so difficult to pull through.
lesson to learn about LOVE.
the lesson came too unexpectedly at the most unexpected time of life where it just appears and forces you to learn and grow.
perhaps, now it's time.
time to test my love for him, the one i claimed to be...my love.
i guess it's a reassurance kind of thing to affirm the love i have for him.
Kim JunSu's Real Love.
i seriously dunno what i should be feeling when i watched it. initially i wasn't sure what am i suppose to feel. i just feel, blank. i guess it has came out as a shock.
then, i started having mixed feeling. sad, angry, jealous, shocked, upset, disappointed, depressed..so on.
next....i feel so....enlightened.
like...this is....what my love really is.
who junsu is.
renewed the whole image of him.
renewed a whole new theory on life.
what i wished for so strongly...
there are so much of such things...
yet, these are the things that i can't have my hands on....
these are the things that have been too far to be targeted in the first place.
this video just made my love for junsu so selfish, so self centered, so a evon's wants rather than a junsu's needs.
if you can get what i mean...
junsu...you really loved your ex right?
you really fell for her didn't you?
you really felt for her didn't you?
it must have been...so much love to be able to be like this.
junsu, you really loved her...didn't you?
it's time.
it's about time.
but i still want to be this selfish for at least this one time again for my last idol.
to continue this selfish love till...
the day he found his her
the day i found my him
till then, i will love you selfishly like i did before.
junsu, i wanna know...
you still love her up to now?
do you?
do you still do?
i really wanna know...
if only you were here to answer me.
to calm the panicking me, the one burning so much with fire of jealousy...
junsu...why was i only able to run and stand around the area of fan and not...
why can't i cross over...
dear lord, i wan to have that chance, opportunity.
lord, give me the chance...please.
no one told me that i was to go through a lesson so difficult to pull through.
lesson to learn about LOVE.
the lesson came too unexpectedly at the most unexpected time of life where it just appears and forces you to learn and grow.
perhaps, now it's time.
time to test my love for him, the one i claimed to be...my love.
i guess it's a reassurance kind of thing to affirm the love i have for him.
Kim JunSu's Real Love.
i seriously dunno what i should be feeling when i watched it. initially i wasn't sure what am i suppose to feel. i just feel, blank. i guess it has came out as a shock.
then, i started having mixed feeling. sad, angry, jealous, shocked, upset, disappointed, depressed..so on.
next....i feel so....enlightened.
like...this is....what my love really is.
who junsu is.
renewed the whole image of him.
renewed a whole new theory on life.
what i wished for so strongly...
there are so much of such things...
yet, these are the things that i can't have my hands on....
these are the things that have been too far to be targeted in the first place.
this video just made my love for junsu so selfish, so self centered, so a evon's wants rather than a junsu's needs.
if you can get what i mean...
junsu...you really loved your ex right?
you really fell for her didn't you?
you really felt for her didn't you?
it must have been...so much love to be able to be like this.
junsu, you really loved her...didn't you?
it's time.
it's about time.
but i still want to be this selfish for at least this one time again for my last idol.
to continue this selfish love till...
the day he found his her
the day i found my him
till then, i will love you selfishly like i did before.
junsu, i wanna know...
you still love her up to now?
do you?
do you still do?
i really wanna know...
if only you were here to answer me.
to calm the panicking me, the one burning so much with fire of jealousy...
junsu...why was i only able to run and stand around the area of fan and not...
why can't i cross over...
dear lord, i wan to have that chance, opportunity.
lord, give me the chance...please.
♥ pending, clique outing.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
TO CLIQUE MEMBERS:
i'm planning for a clique outing to SENTOSA.
please inform me your availability.
best is after march 25, before april 20.
plan is, have lunch at JGT at vivo then monorail to sentosa and have a time off.
suggestions are welcomed and will be entertained.
please do have the courtesy to infrom me if you have the interest to go or stay at home^^
sign, evon~!
i'm planning for a clique outing to SENTOSA.
please inform me your availability.
best is after march 25, before april 20.
plan is, have lunch at JGT at vivo then monorail to sentosa and have a time off.
suggestions are welcomed and will be entertained.
please do have the courtesy to infrom me if you have the interest to go or stay at home^^
sign, evon~!
♥
she was the first senior who talked to me on my first day. i thought i was to depart earlier than her but....well, what do you know? it's her "last day" today. she had her official last day off, what kind of nonsense was that?
these are the pics i took with her just a few hours ago when we trained home. *screw blogger! accidentally deleted a pic which had me beautifully taken but quality bad><
ok, so just let me inform you my current two obsessions of drinks.
Starbucks coffee and boost juice bars (names seen in pics)
i prefer the later option though, it's healthier. oh my gosh. blueberry blast is a hit (on me) try it!!
i wanna try banana buzz someday^^ please ask me stop buying any of the drinks from these two shops!! i keep buying them like there is no tmr!! the drinks are not cheap after all><
this cheesecake/cheesecake and biscuit? is deadly nice. omg.
i shamelessly took the offer of two from stickman even though i know i shouldn't.
too good to resist ( sounds like a slogan for some bland)
damn nice!! and i am a psycho for cheesecakes.
work for these days have been fun since i can safely say that i mixed well with my colleagues.
they are nice and fun people to play with^^ esp, stickman.
too bad he has a girlfriend already.
one thing i found out about him is that, he's gentlemanly to his gf, cheeky to his friends. hmmm
stickman keeps pokes fun of me, *evil....*
first it was transformer, then machine man, next stick man.
then i told him, how come you keep calling me "man", I'M A GIRL!!
then he calls me stick girl then i started laughing.
say it, STICK GIRL does it makes it to STICKER.
he got it right away and was like STICKER STICKER. lol
my com just went wrong for a few minutes. the screen just moves up and up and no matter how hard i try to push it down it still goes up and up and up then i somehow cured it and now back to normal. ahhhh so this is the quality of a free laptop? BOOHOO.
ah...now even robyn the kitchen leader teamed up with stickman to bully, poke fun me. WTH. me no likey.
i realised that for the longest time ever in my blog posts, i din mention and even thought about junsu!!! well, except for now. LOL
oh well, junsu no worries, you didn't lose me, i'm still here to cheer you on^^
love you dearly, my dolphin boy^^
okok what else is there for me to say?
OH GOSH! i spent another 87 bucks on THSK's 4th japanese album. damn, why is it so bloody expensive?
i wanna go to my workplace and eat again but yet no one is willing to go there><
♥
Saturday, February 21, 2009
gloomy. the term you can roughly describe my feeling for the past few days. i guess i am just lost and is helpless. perhaps you can pull me through...i tot you could.
chocolate ice cream from awfullychocolate. dark chocolate and rich chocolate flavor. (i wonder what i'm saying. basically, i'm just repeating my points, isn't it?)
the other cake i bought for valentine's day. this, was for my family. i think only a small portion of it was eaten. oh well, i'm gonna munch it all up like i did to the other chocolate cake i bought for v day for my friends.
i will be switching to working part time instead of full time, take effect on feb 26. the place i worked for 2 months, this is how it looked like. i will officially leave on the march 25, coincidentally, thsk's 4th japanese album [THE SECRET CORD] release date. then i will have my vacation till school starts. between vacation i will be dealing school matters and also exercising my weak body. have to get FIT FIT FIT!!
something retardedly stuff happened to blogger and my last pic was deleted. damn. oh whatever, screw you blogger.
any way, i'm having (damn) gastric problems for the past 3 days. it got really bad last night, till the point that i was awaken twice from my sleep. however i went to the doc already and is on my way to recovery. LOL
i haven't tok to lala for a long time since that incident. boohoo, still am upset about it. bleah
had better ties with workmates. YAY!
even the one i really detest also opens up and i realise she really can be nice at times.
working also made me realise, wow this society, its hard to survive.
something retardedly stuff happened to blogger and my last pic was deleted. damn. oh whatever, screw you blogger.
any way, i'm having (damn) gastric problems for the past 3 days. it got really bad last night, till the point that i was awaken twice from my sleep. however i went to the doc already and is on my way to recovery. LOL
i haven't tok to lala for a long time since that incident. boohoo, still am upset about it. bleah
had better ties with workmates. YAY!
even the one i really detest also opens up and i realise she really can be nice at times.
working also made me realise, wow this society, its hard to survive.
people just gossips. i just shut my mouth when they start gossiping, i dun wanna step my foot in it. i rather stand on a neutral footing.
ahhh, i'm getting bored already. come on people, why aren't you moving! get on with it and ask me out!!!!! haiz
i have a craving to eat my workplace food again....
shit.
i'm currently reading PS.I.LOVE.YOU.
imagining scenarios from the chapters. gah, i have yet finish reading SPUD. boohoo. guess i will just have to finish spud after i have done with ps i love you.
TVXQ'S 3rd live tour concert MIROTIC kicked off!!!!
oh yeah!
i'm waiting for singapore's turn.
JUST COME, WON'T CHA.
okok my gastric is working up again. tata folks.
ahhh, i'm getting bored already. come on people, why aren't you moving! get on with it and ask me out!!!!! haiz
i have a craving to eat my workplace food again....
shit.
i'm currently reading PS.I.LOVE.YOU.
imagining scenarios from the chapters. gah, i have yet finish reading SPUD. boohoo. guess i will just have to finish spud after i have done with ps i love you.
TVXQ'S 3rd live tour concert MIROTIC kicked off!!!!
oh yeah!
i'm waiting for singapore's turn.
JUST COME, WON'T CHA.
okok my gastric is working up again. tata folks.
♥
Saturday, February 14, 2009
hello(=
back to blog just to share my happiness~
i got in to BUSINESS MANAGEMENT, nyp.
oh well, if it weren't the lots and lots of troubles my parents, sis and i went through, i won't be able to even think of getting in.
i'm not even afraid to say that, in fact, it depends on pulling some strings...still, i will prove my worthyness.
my times at work taught me lots of lessons, i hope it applies to all my FRIEND.
to be independent.
i, for example, trusted my colleagues and in the end aren't all blames pushed to me?
that's not really a good example....><
i look like a self centered person, dun i?
i dun even look out for my friends. dun i?
yeah....now you seen my true colours. *note sacrasm*
what's that old chinese phrase again? ah...something about HORSE amd something about when time flies you get to know one's true heart..*strong hints*
i only care for my own plight.
so when i got a job, i din cared about you.
i DIN help you look out, i DIN sms you
some ppl just take it for granted.
please, if you think all are against you, THINK AGAIN.
once again, i urge all, DUN BE NAIVE.
ARGH. i feel frustrated.
i feel like smashing out the windows and blow up the damn world just to calm the fire, burning my rationality away.
DAMN.
oh well, tmr is v day. bought cakes for the special ones to celebrate.
so when we'll not together, we see more faults in us than the usual time.
i wanted to inform you too, but circumstances obstructed.
then again, i thought about it, i could have just gave you the number to the manager and you could have planned a interview and might have caused a change in your future education. i was stupid then to have not thought about it. so perhaps i'm sorry about that.
however, now the way you're saying is like its my duty and responsible to tell you?
when i took the trouble to search for jobs for you, YOU DIN EVEN APPRECIATE IT. i dun remember the thankful and gratitude you give me.
i think you seriously toook it tooo granted. I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY, literally.
back to blog just to share my happiness~
i got in to BUSINESS MANAGEMENT, nyp.
oh well, if it weren't the lots and lots of troubles my parents, sis and i went through, i won't be able to even think of getting in.
i'm not even afraid to say that, in fact, it depends on pulling some strings...still, i will prove my worthyness.
my times at work taught me lots of lessons, i hope it applies to all my FRIEND.
to be independent.
i, for example, trusted my colleagues and in the end aren't all blames pushed to me?
that's not really a good example....><
i look like a self centered person, dun i?
i dun even look out for my friends. dun i?
yeah....now you seen my true colours. *note sacrasm*
what's that old chinese phrase again? ah...something about HORSE amd something about when time flies you get to know one's true heart..*strong hints*
i only care for my own plight.
so when i got a job, i din cared about you.
i DIN help you look out, i DIN sms you
some ppl just take it for granted.
please, if you think all are against you, THINK AGAIN.
once again, i urge all, DUN BE NAIVE.
ARGH. i feel frustrated.
i feel like smashing out the windows and blow up the damn world just to calm the fire, burning my rationality away.
DAMN.
oh well, tmr is v day. bought cakes for the special ones to celebrate.
so when we'll not together, we see more faults in us than the usual time.
i wanted to inform you too, but circumstances obstructed.
then again, i thought about it, i could have just gave you the number to the manager and you could have planned a interview and might have caused a change in your future education. i was stupid then to have not thought about it. so perhaps i'm sorry about that.
however, now the way you're saying is like its my duty and responsible to tell you?
when i took the trouble to search for jobs for you, YOU DIN EVEN APPRECIATE IT. i dun remember the thankful and gratitude you give me.
i think you seriously toook it tooo granted. I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY, literally.
♥
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Singapore Flyer
went for the very first time. was kind of excited initially and a bit of nervous (fear of heights) but it all went down as the trip goes...30 minutes in the capsule seeing from a great view.
went for the very first time. was kind of excited initially and a bit of nervous (fear of heights) but it all went down as the trip goes...30 minutes in the capsule seeing from a great view.
pictures of what i took from the flyer. those cars look sooooo small and tiny, UBER CUTE!!! in fact, i realized something: japan is actually not that far away from Singapore. that's suppose to be a good thing i guess?
y0u can already guess who my love is right?
even if we were one thousand miles away, minds floating away, i still thought we had some kind of connection pulling us strong together. CASSIOPEIA AND TVXQ are always as one isn't it?
that's why even if i am working for long hours almost everyday, little off days in between, i still had them in my heart. see, i din forget you junsu but forgot my passion for you that burned the desire i had to meet you so desperately.
actually this post was already done last night but it is either blogger that screwed me up or my damned connection hated me. i typed a whole lot more chunks of words into this post but turn out that the later half was not saved=( BOOHOO
^^
any way i am going out tmr with jia ping. guess we have much to catch up with^^
i hope i'm not always the last one to know changes.
i want to be mentally prepared and emotionally ready for the different and gear up for the possible injuries.
if you get what i mean...
valentine is coming. i am spending it alone while working. PATHETIC
its ok....i can always spend it with the special one next year^^
oh well....bye folks..
♥
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
hello people!
i'm sooo bored at work nowadays...
team leader just won't stop assigning me the task of distributing flyers. (I'm a waitress not flyers distributor...*pouts*
remember the person i said that i found myself falling in love with? a few days ago i reached to a conclusion that it was just false alarm. today i found out that he was dating one of my fellow colleagues. O.M.G wow, imagine the shock and disappointment i suffered, BOOHOO. oh well, i guess i can forget about him now.
my colleagues seems to pair me up with stickman like 2 days ago but since then they stopped it. OH WELL..
work was alright. i stopped making mistakes.
my workplace has added more botejyu items available. OH YEAH.
shall try potato and cheese one day.
am having off on friday and planned to have a belated birthday meal for big sis at HANG SANG, our well-loved korean restaurant. great!! i'm getting sick eating ramen ramen ramen everyday.
i have officially decided to work my last day on the 15th of march. just before holidays. i know there will be lots of student customers during holidays...and to avoid possible embarrassment with juniors, 15th is a good date. HA
i realized that after i've been working, i become someone will gets impatience and hot tempered towards my family members. I DUNNO WHY. oh well, and at the same time i get homesick while having to work off those long hours.
i'm getting my first pay soon! yeah
my handphone bill will cost a bomb. DAMN
my sis wants me to chip in a incredible amount of money for her 22nd birthday.
a Wii set is what she wanted. DAMN.
this is how she knocks money out of me.
I AM SO NOT WILLING TO GIVE IN.
not that i don't wanna give her present but any idea where those hard earned money going to? one person to chip in more than hundred bucks for that sinful thing.
i can't wait to go back to the days where i'm so carefree.
can't wait to start the new level of education.
i think all of us are going towards different directions.
we'll meet again^^
i'm sooo bored at work nowadays...
team leader just won't stop assigning me the task of distributing flyers. (I'm a waitress not flyers distributor...*pouts*
remember the person i said that i found myself falling in love with? a few days ago i reached to a conclusion that it was just false alarm. today i found out that he was dating one of my fellow colleagues. O.M.G wow, imagine the shock and disappointment i suffered, BOOHOO. oh well, i guess i can forget about him now.
my colleagues seems to pair me up with stickman like 2 days ago but since then they stopped it. OH WELL..
work was alright. i stopped making mistakes.
my workplace has added more botejyu items available. OH YEAH.
shall try potato and cheese one day.
am having off on friday and planned to have a belated birthday meal for big sis at HANG SANG, our well-loved korean restaurant. great!! i'm getting sick eating ramen ramen ramen everyday.
i have officially decided to work my last day on the 15th of march. just before holidays. i know there will be lots of student customers during holidays...and to avoid possible embarrassment with juniors, 15th is a good date. HA
i realized that after i've been working, i become someone will gets impatience and hot tempered towards my family members. I DUNNO WHY. oh well, and at the same time i get homesick while having to work off those long hours.
i'm getting my first pay soon! yeah
my handphone bill will cost a bomb. DAMN
my sis wants me to chip in a incredible amount of money for her 22nd birthday.
a Wii set is what she wanted. DAMN.
this is how she knocks money out of me.
I AM SO NOT WILLING TO GIVE IN.
not that i don't wanna give her present but any idea where those hard earned money going to? one person to chip in more than hundred bucks for that sinful thing.
i can't wait to go back to the days where i'm so carefree.
can't wait to start the new level of education.
i think all of us are going towards different directions.
we'll meet again^^
