Entries of life ★

i feel weird now. ignore me if you have to.
it seems like you were born and landed on the earth alone means you were going to walk alone.
it also seems like you were to die lonely because you are going to lie in the coffin alone.
i dunno why am i saying this, but i feel really weird and left out.
i can't seem to find the right place to fit myself in.
i feel really pathetic now at how i can react sometimes.
i feel really fed up with myself.
i feel like slapping myself when all my emotions and thoughts takes over me.
i feel like stabbing myself one hundred times when i do things without much considerations.
i feel so inferior to be this stupid, this silly.
i feel so disgusted when i can get so jealous at times.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME
i want to change myself so bad that i can now only see the bad things in me. i dwell on it so much that everyday i feel so.......disappointed.
what is the roots to all these problems that i am going through?

self control self discipline
self torture self destruct

i so wanna slap myself in the face.
mold me into someone who is better, be it appearance wise or personalities.

everything today seems so horrible

from....
changmin's love life
my stupid thoughts on chingu
to fretting non-stop about it all.

STAB MYSELF ONE HUNDRED TIMES.