i know i should refrain myself stop the laptop temptation and internet temptation but well i felt like blogging.
since o levels is a once in a lifetime, blogging the various feelings i had during the o levels period seems to be memorable.
so i guess i will be blogging occasionally?
ps: i am amazed by how fast i can recover from the aftermath of the junsu related issue( mentioned in the past posts). i feel ok now. perhaps i was already expecting it since the day i knew it in words form. it was just now i got to confirm it by myself by watching it and understanding it. or perhaps my heart had settled into the situation that junsu was only my idol so no more feelings in terms of love towards him?
i forgot what i wanted to add at the last portion here XD
♥
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
♥ the clear definition of junsu
today it started off rather common yet something felt exceptionally wrong.
well, i woke up at 10.58 am when i was suppose to wake up 8 minutes earlier.
that was normal for me though (dragging of time).
but since i was mentally awaken by my alarm clock, i found it hard to return to sleep.
so i got up and continued the incomplete revision for physics.
laid in bed, without my spectacles on, i started reading my science chem/physics key points book.
at 11++am, i was actually planning to get myself bathed and go down to buy my brunch.
well, you should know i am lazy to even go downstairs and buy food for myself.
so i went down, bought food and coffee.
i said i was sleepy yet mentally i was really awake.
i needed coffee for assurance.
went to school early today, felt rather weird but that was what i did occasionally last week.
then it was time for physics paper.
physics turn out to be ok for me.
i was able to handle it and answer it.
i was so thrilled and happy about the happiness of conquering physics.
i never passed physics for the whole of this year's school terms.
so imagine the happiness i felt after doing the paper.
went home and was so high.
i know, i was duper high and crazy.
at home, picked up the phone and rang up to both my parents.
told them about the physics paper.
after it, i took my laptop and switched it on, yet again.
surfed the net and with much enthusiasm, i clicked [come to play] video where TVXQ has a part in it. i was really anxious to watch it because it was really funny!! ( i watched the first part and it was really hilarious so i wanted to show the other parts of the show)
well, it all went well until....
the uploader had only posted 4 parts with subs so i had to wait for the rest to be subbed. BUT, there was one exception, PART7.
the deadly PART7
remember one of my previous post about junsu admitting to his first, after debut kiss? part7 had this part in it and SUBBED. so the situation was, i get to see for myself junsu admitting to it, saying about it and crying over it. well, it was a big mind blowing issue to me, a crazy maniac who treats and views junsu as her lover, husband, bf and etc. it was like, junsu was giving me a tight slap to wake me up. the slap was like " WAKE UP IDIOT. YOU SEE YOU ARE MY FAN, ONLY FAN. YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN BE MY GF?" to me it was like so. oh my gosh, can you imagine how....how....how...indescrible my feelings was at that time? it was such a slapping moment that i started to cry for the moment and couldn't watch anymore after the issue.
i finally awaken from my sillyness.
i was such a idiot to treat my idol as my lover or bf or love.
if he was my idol, he is not my bf lover and etc.
so the conclusion was:
idol does not equal to LOVER BOYFRIEND HUSBAND AND THE OTHER ETCS.
well, yup a clear definition of what junsu should have been to me.
A IDOL.
i should have got this straight from the start.
so, now, junsu is only my fav idol of my fav group TVXQ.
clear enough for me.
yup that was it.
now that my "love" is emptied, again.
i feel a sense of hollowness in me.
that is why i say i want to date....
well, i woke up at 10.58 am when i was suppose to wake up 8 minutes earlier.
that was normal for me though (dragging of time).
but since i was mentally awaken by my alarm clock, i found it hard to return to sleep.
so i got up and continued the incomplete revision for physics.
laid in bed, without my spectacles on, i started reading my science chem/physics key points book.
at 11++am, i was actually planning to get myself bathed and go down to buy my brunch.
well, you should know i am lazy to even go downstairs and buy food for myself.
so i went down, bought food and coffee.
i said i was sleepy yet mentally i was really awake.
i needed coffee for assurance.
went to school early today, felt rather weird but that was what i did occasionally last week.
then it was time for physics paper.
physics turn out to be ok for me.
i was able to handle it and answer it.
i was so thrilled and happy about the happiness of conquering physics.
i never passed physics for the whole of this year's school terms.
so imagine the happiness i felt after doing the paper.
went home and was so high.
i know, i was duper high and crazy.
at home, picked up the phone and rang up to both my parents.
told them about the physics paper.
after it, i took my laptop and switched it on, yet again.
surfed the net and with much enthusiasm, i clicked [come to play] video where TVXQ has a part in it. i was really anxious to watch it because it was really funny!! ( i watched the first part and it was really hilarious so i wanted to show the other parts of the show)
well, it all went well until....
the uploader had only posted 4 parts with subs so i had to wait for the rest to be subbed. BUT, there was one exception, PART7.
the deadly PART7
remember one of my previous post about junsu admitting to his first, after debut kiss? part7 had this part in it and SUBBED. so the situation was, i get to see for myself junsu admitting to it, saying about it and crying over it. well, it was a big mind blowing issue to me, a crazy maniac who treats and views junsu as her lover, husband, bf and etc. it was like, junsu was giving me a tight slap to wake me up. the slap was like " WAKE UP IDIOT. YOU SEE YOU ARE MY FAN, ONLY FAN. YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN BE MY GF?" to me it was like so. oh my gosh, can you imagine how....how....how...indescrible my feelings was at that time? it was such a slapping moment that i started to cry for the moment and couldn't watch anymore after the issue.
i finally awaken from my sillyness.
i was such a idiot to treat my idol as my lover or bf or love.
if he was my idol, he is not my bf lover and etc.
so the conclusion was:
idol does not equal to LOVER BOYFRIEND HUSBAND AND THE OTHER ETCS.
well, yup a clear definition of what junsu should have been to me.
A IDOL.
i should have got this straight from the start.
so, now, junsu is only my fav idol of my fav group TVXQ.
clear enough for me.
yup that was it.
now that my "love" is emptied, again.
i feel a sense of hollowness in me.
that is why i say i want to date....
♥
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
ok i decided to make one last simple post before i switch off my laptop and sleep.
i found out that junsu was on a korean variety show, alone. well not that it is something bad or negative in a way but....the objective of the show that junsu appeared was....O.O
well, on a show called [come to play] he was voted as the one that is unsocial. his best friend would be his twin brother junho. well, and the show he appeared on was after the broadcast of [come to play]. errrr....the show's part where junsu appeared, de objective was to broaden his social circle of friends. i was like....-.-
haha and i had a smirk on my face, was sort of a smile?
not a smirk that sound bad. well, i sort of felt bad for su.
oh god, poor guy but well, he got new friends to make! hooray!
evon is going to work and make new friends too! ^^
oh! i'm buying a cap for su. shalli buy a couple cap for me and su? WAHAHAHAHA
i found out that junsu was on a korean variety show, alone. well not that it is something bad or negative in a way but....the objective of the show that junsu appeared was....O.O
well, on a show called [come to play] he was voted as the one that is unsocial. his best friend would be his twin brother junho. well, and the show he appeared on was after the broadcast of [come to play]. errrr....the show's part where junsu appeared, de objective was to broaden his social circle of friends. i was like....-.-
haha and i had a smirk on my face, was sort of a smile?
not a smirk that sound bad. well, i sort of felt bad for su.
oh god, poor guy but well, he got new friends to make! hooray!
evon is going to work and make new friends too! ^^
oh! i'm buying a cap for su. shalli buy a couple cap for me and su? WAHAHAHAHA
♥ call out
Monday, October 27, 2008
ok this is the official call out to all readers.
WHO WANNA DO VOLUNTARY WORK WITH ME? the time would be any time after the o level period. no one have yet approached or agreed to do it with me. well, except that my mum was totally agreeing to it.
well the thought of doing voluntary work came to me after watching a reality show on our local channel. and also realizing that i haven't been doing good deeds for a long time. i felt that i was old enough to do something as a contribution to the society. voluntary works seems to be the simplest yet most sincere thing to do.
so that is only part of the plans i had for the holidays that are to come.
i am planning to master korean and japanese language.
i am also planning to work, need to earn some real cash.
that seems to be all. darn i thought it was a long list of stuffs i need to do after o's.
guess not.
oh well, i will be attending 4nov kpop concert with WG attending.
i have yet told my parents that i've got it redeemed with $60 worth of products. OOOPS :X
well, it was the only chance i had, forgive me!
oh and the previous post about giving up db. i realize i could not bring myself to do so. i have been so crazy over them, going head over heels for them and now to give up on them for a mere day's effort is not enough. PLUS, checking on their news is such a regular routine in my life that it even seems weird not to update myself on them. maybe i should try harder but nah! just let it be, i like it the way it is.
mmm o levels seems to be ending soon. (oh yeah it is) that is fast!
i am so glad=p
why aren't my parents positive about me getting a job after o's?
they say i am underage to be hired.
but why am i so?
my sisters did the same, just that my other sis was 17 when she did that...
WHY?
humphs.
i will prove them wrong.
i am not baby of the family ok!
maybe i am. haha i still act so childishly (even more than junsu did)
oh my gosh.
i wan to date>.<>
WHO WANNA DO VOLUNTARY WORK WITH ME? the time would be any time after the o level period. no one have yet approached or agreed to do it with me. well, except that my mum was totally agreeing to it.
well the thought of doing voluntary work came to me after watching a reality show on our local channel. and also realizing that i haven't been doing good deeds for a long time. i felt that i was old enough to do something as a contribution to the society. voluntary works seems to be the simplest yet most sincere thing to do.
so that is only part of the plans i had for the holidays that are to come.
i am planning to master korean and japanese language.
i am also planning to work, need to earn some real cash.
that seems to be all. darn i thought it was a long list of stuffs i need to do after o's.
guess not.
oh well, i will be attending 4nov kpop concert with WG attending.
i have yet told my parents that i've got it redeemed with $60 worth of products. OOOPS :X
well, it was the only chance i had, forgive me!
oh and the previous post about giving up db. i realize i could not bring myself to do so. i have been so crazy over them, going head over heels for them and now to give up on them for a mere day's effort is not enough. PLUS, checking on their news is such a regular routine in my life that it even seems weird not to update myself on them. maybe i should try harder but nah! just let it be, i like it the way it is.
mmm o levels seems to be ending soon. (oh yeah it is) that is fast!
i am so glad=p
why aren't my parents positive about me getting a job after o's?
they say i am underage to be hired.
but why am i so?
my sisters did the same, just that my other sis was 17 when she did that...
WHY?
humphs.
i will prove them wrong.
i am not baby of the family ok!
maybe i am. haha i still act so childishly (even more than junsu did)
oh my gosh.
i wan to date>.<>
♥
Friday, October 24, 2008
when you look at me in the eyes, i catch a glimpse of heaven.
that was once what i felt.
but now, i came to realize it was all fantasies imagined.
we were never been to be.
we will never be able to be like the way i dreamed up.
you were the stars that was beyond my reach.
thank you.
for the tears and happiness you gave to me.
for the touching moments
for the time when your silly actions just brighten up my day.
i guess it is just time now that i really am letting you go and drawing up the borders to what our relationship will be.
you and i, from the start, are idol and fan.
till the very end, we will still going to be like this.
i am silly and foolish to think that i will be able to conquer the barriers, and change.
but today, i know i failed. completely lost and failed.
you had your life and now i am going to have mine.
slowly fading you away from my life.
baby steps to take and learn, to have you completely removed.
to resume my life as before the day you came in.
my love, good bye.
that was once what i felt.
but now, i came to realize it was all fantasies imagined.
we were never been to be.
we will never be able to be like the way i dreamed up.
you were the stars that was beyond my reach.
thank you.
for the tears and happiness you gave to me.
for the touching moments
for the time when your silly actions just brighten up my day.
i guess it is just time now that i really am letting you go and drawing up the borders to what our relationship will be.
you and i, from the start, are idol and fan.
till the very end, we will still going to be like this.
i am silly and foolish to think that i will be able to conquer the barriers, and change.
but today, i know i failed. completely lost and failed.
you had your life and now i am going to have mine.
slowly fading you away from my life.
baby steps to take and learn, to have you completely removed.
to resume my life as before the day you came in.
my love, good bye.
♥ a break
oh yeah, a break finally.
A WEEK, filled with exams. IMPORTANT EXAMS.
O L.E.V.E.L.S
but now i am finally having a four day break before the next round of o levels exam.
today, i have no control over my stomach.
and through today's exam subjects, i came to a conclusion:
MATHS (be it e or a) IS VERY APPETIZING.
which ever paper i was doing today, i just felt hungry through all the time, solving questions.
WEIRD HUH?
well, my stomach just cant quit making noises, simply because it is hungry!!!
then, when the exams ended, it is not hungry any more...(wth,,,)
any way, a maths was a killer.
told mum i wasn't depending on a maths any more for L1R4
well, i still have 6 other subjects to count on, so...
i am counting on you; MATHS, ENGLISH, HIGHER CHINESE, PURE LIT, COMBINED HUMANITIES, COMBINED SCIENCE (PHYS/CHEM)
i am so in love with you guys...
so in return of my love, give me a big fat A. haha
i dun mind a A2, but i really prefer a A1. hahaha XP
yup so if the whole exams ended for today, ended at 5 in the evening, went to have a short game of basketball.
mmm after such a long time since i last touched a basketball.
my right knee has slight injuries-.-
OUCH
haha actually it is just some scratches and some skin being scraped off...ewww sounds so disgusting. *pukes*
i just had a burger, CHICKEN. hahaha without chili sauce>.<
guess how i felt when i read that. the keyword is, JUNSU. then FIRST KISS. follow by AFTER DEBUT.
how do i describe the moment of emotion i felt when i saw read this heading? i read the article and after it, i had to hold myself together and took deep breaths for about 5mins? and then continued looking through the pages.
AMAZING, isn't it? i didn't rant anything, didn't cry, didn't felt heart broken. come to think of it, i think i didn't felt anything. perhaps i felt a bit too harsh? like the emotions that came onto me was so harsh, i guess i still unable to accept it huh?
i read how junsu lost his after debut first kiss, that was so f****** ^%&Q^$#&*%^Q)$*&% he and that S*** kissed at the carpark staircase? if i didn't remember wrongly. guess the time. 2006. *&*$(%&*(Q#&%&(^$^)$(*^% that is so recently can! junsu cried because he felt that he couldn't do anything for her. GREAT i feel so super inferior for no reason and finally am coming to the light of truth that after all i am only his fan. DAMN.
yoochun's kiss was crappy. the way he mentioned about it, gives me the impression he was so...playboy. he was just out with his friends and that s*** was someone he didn't know can. i think he said something like, what kissed then what about feelings? then that would make her his girl. WTF was that man i dunno why. dear yoochun you just made me drop one thousand good impression points of you.
i dun like playboys people who dun respect L.O.V.E i dun respect people who doesn't give a damn to kisses. i mean kisses are the most affectionate action that express those unspeakable emotions one felt for another. is like so holy. the holy action of love. you take that so lightly? it just make me so fed up that i dunno who you really are? i have and had many fancies of kisses and love relationship, good ones.
yup that was it. sort of fed up huh? perhaps it is just my own jealousy working up. maybe i just felt betrayed? but i am just SOME BLOODY FAN!! that TVXQ come across almost everyday of their lives. oh well, they wanted ordinary girls as their girl friends. while i wan a guy that loves me to acceept who i am to be my boyfriend. maybe i just wan the guy i love to love me back and as my boyfriend?
A LONG POST!!! hahaha bye folks
A WEEK, filled with exams. IMPORTANT EXAMS.
O L.E.V.E.L.S
but now i am finally having a four day break before the next round of o levels exam.
today, i have no control over my stomach.
and through today's exam subjects, i came to a conclusion:
MATHS (be it e or a) IS VERY APPETIZING.
which ever paper i was doing today, i just felt hungry through all the time, solving questions.
WEIRD HUH?
well, my stomach just cant quit making noises, simply because it is hungry!!!
then, when the exams ended, it is not hungry any more...(wth,,,)
any way, a maths was a killer.
told mum i wasn't depending on a maths any more for L1R4
well, i still have 6 other subjects to count on, so...
i am counting on you; MATHS, ENGLISH, HIGHER CHINESE, PURE LIT, COMBINED HUMANITIES, COMBINED SCIENCE (PHYS/CHEM)
i am so in love with you guys...
so in return of my love, give me a big fat A. haha
i dun mind a A2, but i really prefer a A1. hahaha XP
yup so if the whole exams ended for today, ended at 5 in the evening, went to have a short game of basketball.
mmm after such a long time since i last touched a basketball.
my right knee has slight injuries-.-
OUCH
haha actually it is just some scratches and some skin being scraped off...ewww sounds so disgusting. *pukes*
i just had a burger, CHICKEN. hahaha without chili sauce>.<
>Junsu Changmin Yoochun admits that they had their first kiss after debut.shit man.
guess how i felt when i read that. the keyword is, JUNSU. then FIRST KISS. follow by AFTER DEBUT.
how do i describe the moment of emotion i felt when i saw read this heading? i read the article and after it, i had to hold myself together and took deep breaths for about 5mins? and then continued looking through the pages.
AMAZING, isn't it? i didn't rant anything, didn't cry, didn't felt heart broken. come to think of it, i think i didn't felt anything. perhaps i felt a bit too harsh? like the emotions that came onto me was so harsh, i guess i still unable to accept it huh?
i read how junsu lost his after debut first kiss, that was so f****** ^%&Q^$#&*%^Q)$*&% he and that S*** kissed at the carpark staircase? if i didn't remember wrongly. guess the time. 2006. *&*$(%&*(Q#&%&(^$^)$(*^% that is so recently can! junsu cried because he felt that he couldn't do anything for her. GREAT i feel so super inferior for no reason and finally am coming to the light of truth that after all i am only his fan. DAMN.
yoochun's kiss was crappy. the way he mentioned about it, gives me the impression he was so...playboy. he was just out with his friends and that s*** was someone he didn't know can. i think he said something like, what kissed then what about feelings? then that would make her his girl. WTF was that man i dunno why. dear yoochun you just made me drop one thousand good impression points of you.
i dun like playboys people who dun respect L.O.V.E i dun respect people who doesn't give a damn to kisses. i mean kisses are the most affectionate action that express those unspeakable emotions one felt for another. is like so holy. the holy action of love. you take that so lightly? it just make me so fed up that i dunno who you really are? i have and had many fancies of kisses and love relationship, good ones.
yup that was it. sort of fed up huh? perhaps it is just my own jealousy working up. maybe i just felt betrayed? but i am just SOME BLOODY FAN!! that TVXQ come across almost everyday of their lives. oh well, they wanted ordinary girls as their girl friends. while i wan a guy that loves me to acceept who i am to be my boyfriend. maybe i just wan the guy i love to love me back and as my boyfriend?
A LONG POST!!! hahaha bye folks
♥ o level just two days away!!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
okay, i decided to give myself a little break. i am just too lenient to myself hahaha
i have no self discipline la and no self control.
laptop is just right smack in front of me and i just can't stop the temptation to switch it on and use it to surf the internet. damn, laptop is so the tool of distraction.
any way, nowadays Janel seems to be in a web cam craze.
not that i really mind la, but she keeps asking me to switch on my web cam>.<
i know Janel you miss me when you don't get to see me. hahaha XP
so....i have been using my web cam for these two days.
on the other hand, because of Janel i found out that i have a web cam installed in my laptop. WOW
impressed.
cool!!
i did take a few pictures with that new function i found in my laptop. haha
but i deleted it away. ALL LOOKED AWFUL.
well, at least the special effects of the web cam was........NOT BAD.
have been searching different Korean songs from different Korean singers.
and i have indeed exposed myself more of the Korean entertainment culture.
oh man, i think i am starting or have started to abandon the Chinese music.
O.O
actually, i kind of feel disgusted when i hear Chinese music in the background. OH MAN why?
this afternoon went studying with Janel and Wan Leng, went in to CD RAMA and heard this chinese song playing in the background and i was like "yuck"
OH MY GOODNESS
i am abandoning the Chinese music interest away.
yup so i am more into Korean songs.
i want to see TVXQ real soon.
i get to see my freedom soon.
just about 4 weeks more and bye bye to secondary life.
o levels is making me sooooo nervous.
i'm so worried.
and what can i do?
STUDY STUDY STUDY!!!
no one updates their blog now....am i the only one slacking here?
ooops:X
i have no self discipline la and no self control.
laptop is just right smack in front of me and i just can't stop the temptation to switch it on and use it to surf the internet. damn, laptop is so the tool of distraction.
any way, nowadays Janel seems to be in a web cam craze.
not that i really mind la, but she keeps asking me to switch on my web cam>.<
i know Janel you miss me when you don't get to see me. hahaha XP
so....i have been using my web cam for these two days.
on the other hand, because of Janel i found out that i have a web cam installed in my laptop. WOW
impressed.
cool!!
i did take a few pictures with that new function i found in my laptop. haha
but i deleted it away. ALL LOOKED AWFUL.
well, at least the special effects of the web cam was........NOT BAD.
have been searching different Korean songs from different Korean singers.
and i have indeed exposed myself more of the Korean entertainment culture.
oh man, i think i am starting or have started to abandon the Chinese music.
O.O
actually, i kind of feel disgusted when i hear Chinese music in the background. OH MAN why?
this afternoon went studying with Janel and Wan Leng, went in to CD RAMA and heard this chinese song playing in the background and i was like "yuck"
OH MY GOODNESS
i am abandoning the Chinese music interest away.
yup so i am more into Korean songs.
i want to see TVXQ real soon.
i get to see my freedom soon.
just about 4 weeks more and bye bye to secondary life.
o levels is making me sooooo nervous.
i'm so worried.
and what can i do?
STUDY STUDY STUDY!!!
no one updates their blog now....am i the only one slacking here?
ooops:X
♥
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any questions that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves
B) Tag 8 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people
1. What do you think an ideal best friend should be like?
i dunno. I'm just as comfortable with the friends i mix with. they are nice and great in their own ways.
(am i answering to the ans?)
2. What would you never ever give up?
to live the way i want to.
3. What do you want the most now?
a funny person right smack in front of me clowning around, to make my life at this very moment EVEN MORE x100000000000000000000000000000000000000 HAPPIER
4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
buy over SM, fire LSM, hire someone even more capable and he will manage SM.
the rest into my bank, i'll think over how to spend on it.
5. isn't Junsu and the whole of TVXQ great?
they aren't just great, they are the holy masters.
(sorry i can't think anything better..)
6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
being loved by someone, because i enjoy being loved by someone who showers me with great happiness.
7. Can you whistle?
yes i can.
8. Is there anything that has made you extremely happy?
yes, if you tell me the next minute i will be in korea meeting my idol TVXQ.
9.Do you like chocolate?
not really. well i dun detest nor adore it.
10. Would you trade your most beloved object for a guy?
if that guy is worth for my beloved object.
11.How would you see yourself in 10 years' time?
married? i picture myself to be in a happy marriage with a loving and doting husband.
12. Who are currently the most important people to you?
friends, family....standard.
& dong bang, esp junsu.
13.Have you finished all your revision?
do i look like i have?
14. What do you want to do after exams?
"burn" my killer textbooks. ENJOY MY LONG AWAITED FREEDOM. i'm still thinking about the rest.
15. What's the first thing you do when you wake up?
not too sure about it. i do different things when i wake up each day.
16. What does your favourite kind of shampoo smell like?
errrrr sweet scented.
17. How would you rate the perfection of your life now?
3- i feel bloody emo now
plus 7- i should be contented with whatever i am given
minus 4- i am greedy
plus 2- at least i have friends
minus 5- dong bang being here with me is not reality
plus 3- i am still alive.
18. What type of people do you like?
funny ppl, who can make me laugh and smile.
ppl who makes me feel comfortable.
ppl who can accept....who i am, both appearance wise and personalities
ppl who have angel-like heart, kind by nature.
ppl who, well, dun just spill out vulgarities like breathing in oxygen
ppl who DUN smoke
now this very moment i feel like, not only slapping ppl, but boxing ppl.
well, i just need to calm myself down slowly, think positively...
I CAN LIE EVERYTHING TO MYSELF
I CAN IMAGINE WHATEVER SCENARIO I NEED TO CALM MYSELF DOWN.
yup i can
i need a corner
lesser lighting
stop bottling everything
AND THERE YOU GO, evon crying.
SHIT.
i hate you world
i hate whoever making my life this difficult
i hate myself not being able to appreciate.
B) Tag 8 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people
1. What do you think an ideal best friend should be like?
i dunno. I'm just as comfortable with the friends i mix with. they are nice and great in their own ways.
(am i answering to the ans?)
2. What would you never ever give up?
to live the way i want to.
3. What do you want the most now?
a funny person right smack in front of me clowning around, to make my life at this very moment EVEN MORE x100000000000000000000000000000000000000 HAPPIER
4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
buy over SM, fire LSM, hire someone even more capable and he will manage SM.
the rest into my bank, i'll think over how to spend on it.
5. isn't Junsu and the whole of TVXQ great?
they aren't just great, they are the holy masters.
(sorry i can't think anything better..)
6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
being loved by someone, because i enjoy being loved by someone who showers me with great happiness.
7. Can you whistle?
yes i can.
8. Is there anything that has made you extremely happy?
yes, if you tell me the next minute i will be in korea meeting my idol TVXQ.
9.Do you like chocolate?
not really. well i dun detest nor adore it.
10. Would you trade your most beloved object for a guy?
if that guy is worth for my beloved object.
11.How would you see yourself in 10 years' time?
married? i picture myself to be in a happy marriage with a loving and doting husband.
12. Who are currently the most important people to you?
friends, family....standard.
& dong bang, esp junsu.
13.Have you finished all your revision?
do i look like i have?
14. What do you want to do after exams?
"burn" my killer textbooks. ENJOY MY LONG AWAITED FREEDOM. i'm still thinking about the rest.
15. What's the first thing you do when you wake up?
not too sure about it. i do different things when i wake up each day.
16. What does your favourite kind of shampoo smell like?
errrrr sweet scented.
17. How would you rate the perfection of your life now?
3- i feel bloody emo now
plus 7- i should be contented with whatever i am given
minus 4- i am greedy
plus 2- at least i have friends
minus 5- dong bang being here with me is not reality
plus 3- i am still alive.
18. What type of people do you like?
funny ppl, who can make me laugh and smile.
ppl who makes me feel comfortable.
ppl who can accept....who i am, both appearance wise and personalities
ppl who have angel-like heart, kind by nature.
ppl who, well, dun just spill out vulgarities like breathing in oxygen
ppl who DUN smoke
now this very moment i feel like, not only slapping ppl, but boxing ppl.
well, i just need to calm myself down slowly, think positively...
I CAN LIE EVERYTHING TO MYSELF
I CAN IMAGINE WHATEVER SCENARIO I NEED TO CALM MYSELF DOWN.
yup i can
i need a corner
lesser lighting
stop bottling everything
AND THERE YOU GO, evon crying.
SHIT.
i hate you world
i hate whoever making my life this difficult
i hate myself not being able to appreciate.
♥ this weird feeling of mine
Sunday, October 12, 2008
i feel weird now. ignore me if you have to.
it seems like you were born and landed on the earth alone means you were going to walk alone.
it also seems like you were to die lonely because you are going to lie in the coffin alone.
i dunno why am i saying this, but i feel really weird and left out.
i can't seem to find the right place to fit myself in.
i feel really pathetic now at how i can react sometimes.
i feel really fed up with myself.
i feel like slapping myself when all my emotions and thoughts takes over me.
i feel like stabbing myself one hundred times when i do things without much considerations.
i feel so inferior to be this stupid, this silly.
i feel so disgusted when i can get so jealous at times.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME
i want to change myself so bad that i can now only see the bad things in me. i dwell on it so much that everyday i feel so.......disappointed.
what is the roots to all these problems that i am going through?
self control self discipline
self torture self destruct
i so wanna slap myself in the face.
mold me into someone who is better, be it appearance wise or personalities.
everything today seems so horrible
from....
changmin's love life
my stupid thoughts on chingu
to fretting non-stop about it all.
STAB MYSELF ONE HUNDRED TIMES.
it seems like you were born and landed on the earth alone means you were going to walk alone.
it also seems like you were to die lonely because you are going to lie in the coffin alone.
i dunno why am i saying this, but i feel really weird and left out.
i can't seem to find the right place to fit myself in.
i feel really pathetic now at how i can react sometimes.
i feel really fed up with myself.
i feel like slapping myself when all my emotions and thoughts takes over me.
i feel like stabbing myself one hundred times when i do things without much considerations.
i feel so inferior to be this stupid, this silly.
i feel so disgusted when i can get so jealous at times.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME
i want to change myself so bad that i can now only see the bad things in me. i dwell on it so much that everyday i feel so.......disappointed.
what is the roots to all these problems that i am going through?
self control self discipline
self torture self destruct
i so wanna slap myself in the face.
mold me into someone who is better, be it appearance wise or personalities.
everything today seems so horrible
from....
changmin's love life
my stupid thoughts on chingu
to fretting non-stop about it all.
STAB MYSELF ONE HUNDRED TIMES.
♥ B2 2007 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
4B2 2008
been in the class of b2 for two years(2007&2008)
it was a great class with special memories.
made friends who i would never imagine myself to be close with.
example....
janel and benita?
i never tok to them before until i was in the class of 4b2 ok...
well since we are going to graduate soon....
a 4b2 class photo to remember^^
♥
^ see clearly! DONG FANG SHEN QI. on our local paper leh! my boys' popularity, simply superb q(^_^)p
ok, so the school said that today will be the "sort of" official dismissal for the sec4s.....i went around the school or rather parts of the school and took pictures. spent 2 years in this newly renovated area. i was only sec3 when i stepped in this new place and now i am going to leave this place soon. i sure will miss it..>.<
the fitness area....ba? the basketball court! memories~sit up area and inclined pull up...NAFA??
the staircase from the basketball court place down to the canteen.
hall. the place where i have been studying at for 2 weeks now...
my classroom. SEC4B2 '08
1st pic: the overall view of the room
2nd pic: the view from my seat.
the table that a green bottle is on, my table.
this one hor.....errrr....dunno how to explain.
physics related.
which is one of the subjects i am stuying, tested for O's and losuy at.
so...they said it was sort of the last day for us...WE CAMWHORED!!!
my unglam-ness....>.<
cam whore....
cam whore....
one-some
two-some
three-some
four-some
five-some
six-some
seven-some!
our 7 ppl, HAPPY BANG~~
my new laptop that came today.
my new laptop that came today.
my childhood ice cream. i ate them recently hahahahah
rainbow ice cream!!
i used to eat rainbow ice cream alot when i was so much younger. like when i am a primary schooler? well, i have stopped eating it when i entered secondary school. i thought it has stopped production and i actually found it available in stores>.< YAY now i get to eat it again^^ my childhood memories. ^^
my piece of artwork. not bad eh?
my piece of artwork. not bad eh?
this fried egg hor, not any ordinary egg ok. the second food i cook, the first object i fried that is not burnt. significant meaning ok...dun play play.^O^
this one hor, the main purpose is jp la. see her shock expression ma? she shocked to see the difference between my cup of milk tea and her's. LARGE vs SMALL.
today we played a bit of basketball with sec3s and emmmm tot we are going to be thrashed....but...ermm...it didn't happen.
oh well. since i'm going to leave the school real soon so there is no need to bother how they will think of us. HA
evil neh evon...
oh well, i'm hungry now.
it is 10.32pm.
HUNGRY>.<
♥
Monday, October 6, 2008
it is now 12.47pm.
and i am still here blogging...
i need to go to school tmr morning, 7++am
not studying but surfing the net.
but i did study abit for maths, did study for chem for the past days.
i still have so much to go and do.....
o levels is approaching....and seriously i can feel the anxiousness in me now.
oh well....
go evon~this is the last lap for secondary life!
then you can bid farewell to the uniform~
then say hello to poly and coming home late=)=)=)
i didn't have the strong urge to browse through soompi these few days.
i didn't have the strong urge to do anything with the com. irony eh? since i'm been using com to blog and see videos...
actually, i wasn't really into db these few days.
perhaps i grew up abit to jump out of the db fantasy world first, in preparation for o levels.
I AM SO DAMN SCARED!!!!=(
help?
so stressed!! i think i dropped more hair than ever. heh heh silly me. LMAO
oh well, fighting!~
and i am still here blogging...
i need to go to school tmr morning, 7++am
not studying but surfing the net.
but i did study abit for maths, did study for chem for the past days.
i still have so much to go and do.....
o levels is approaching....and seriously i can feel the anxiousness in me now.
oh well....
go evon~this is the last lap for secondary life!
then you can bid farewell to the uniform~
then say hello to poly and coming home late=)=)=)
i didn't have the strong urge to browse through soompi these few days.
i didn't have the strong urge to do anything with the com. irony eh? since i'm been using com to blog and see videos...
actually, i wasn't really into db these few days.
perhaps i grew up abit to jump out of the db fantasy world first, in preparation for o levels.
I AM SO DAMN SCARED!!!!=(
help?
so stressed!! i think i dropped more hair than ever. heh heh silly me. LMAO
oh well, fighting!~
