Entries of life ★

i noe i am lousy enough but what happened today made me understand how lousy i really am.
i really do noe how lousy i am or really detestably not nice gal.

mmmm i am lousy i noe. a lousy friend a lousy stranger or whatever.
i noe i am. well at least i tried to change into a person i think people will accept me more. i noe my appearance has already minus first impression marks. you guys all noe there is this very obvious gap in my upper set of teeth. you noe how i detest how people look at me because of that? there was even this time someone came to me asking why it was like that. can you imagine how odd and sad and EMBARRASSED i was. i didn't want it to be like this alright?

there was people who look down or dislike me because of that too. so i am very grateful those who truly befriend with me even though i have this bad thing in me.

this problem was something that really bothered me. i wondered why am i like that but this is already how i am. trying to go to the dentist to do something about it but you noe....it would be painful and worst causing problem to my family's finance. you tell me what to do.

and i noe people do badmouth about me. today i think i caused one person and one group of people to do so. but seriously today what happened is really out of my control. ok not really. but hello i did nothing. sighs. am i unlucky?

any way....i really hid this problem very long liao. this thing. sighs. ok my probelms my life.

i made more enemies than friends.

i hope to go another new place to start afresh. so....bye bye singapore. to be said sooner or later.
to somewhere no one know me. with my better controlled character to make friends. stop myself from being shy.

i hope to do something to my damn teeth though i noe every part of me is a gift of god. am i allow to do or touch them? touch as in you noe? sending them under the knife.
every part of me is flesh and blood gifts from my parents. i wonder why i am saying this becuase i always have this idea of killing myself.

scaring you huh?

lol

my fragile heart please dun break any more? be yourself and be true to yourself. stop thinking of how the others think of you. be yourself you do not live because of others but yourself. the others do not live by you till you die. but only you yourself. i miss the real you. come back soon and stay till i lay under the cold cold soil.

searching for someone who can accept who i really am. not accepting me for some profits but because he really love me. searching the him that really love me no matter of my appearances or my character. I AM NOT IN LOVE OR DESPERATELY LOOKING FOR BF. dun think wrong alright? hur hur.

>.<