Entries of life ★

♥ T ALBUM

Friday, January 25, 2008

i didn't noe what to name this post so....T ALBUM shall it be^^ since tohoshinki's third album is out!! i gonna change it into my play list soon so please ANTICIPATE!!

any way i dunno when it is, our clique played basketball!!! as usual it was the best. i always tot that basketball played within our clique is the best!!! cos we understand each other better, can play and laugh along together and joke around. I LOVE MY CLIQUE MEMBERS^^

any way i am feeling better though i do still have a very low self esteem. but...i will still be myself alrights? hahaha i noe you guys are sort of worried. sorry and thank you. >.<
never have to thought of what people think of me, just be myself.

JUNSU i miss you baby!!

anything....TMR IS JAEJOONG'S BIRTHDAY!!!

재중이~~생일축하합니다!!! 사랑하는 재중이~~~
happy birthday!! to the nicest gentle ~~pretty beautiful (because he dun like people to call him pretty or beautiful)~~ boy on earth!! STAY CHEERFUL!!! JAESU FOREVER SUVON FOREVER!!

yeah tmr is jaejoongie's birthday. his 22th birthday!!! (korean age 23) so young...and to think he debut for already 4 years? WOW. any way happy birthday!!

going pulau ubin on his birthday. haiz...GONNA CUT MY HAIR!! SHORTER AND LAYERING IT. hoho>.<

♥ a lousy me

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

i noe i am lousy enough but what happened today made me understand how lousy i really am.
i really do noe how lousy i am or really detestably not nice gal.

mmmm i am lousy i noe. a lousy friend a lousy stranger or whatever.
i noe i am. well at least i tried to change into a person i think people will accept me more. i noe my appearance has already minus first impression marks. you guys all noe there is this very obvious gap in my upper set of teeth. you noe how i detest how people look at me because of that? there was even this time someone came to me asking why it was like that. can you imagine how odd and sad and EMBARRASSED i was. i didn't want it to be like this alright?

there was people who look down or dislike me because of that too. so i am very grateful those who truly befriend with me even though i have this bad thing in me.

this problem was something that really bothered me. i wondered why am i like that but this is already how i am. trying to go to the dentist to do something about it but you noe....it would be painful and worst causing problem to my family's finance. you tell me what to do.

and i noe people do badmouth about me. today i think i caused one person and one group of people to do so. but seriously today what happened is really out of my control. ok not really. but hello i did nothing. sighs. am i unlucky?

any way....i really hid this problem very long liao. this thing. sighs. ok my probelms my life.

i made more enemies than friends.

i hope to go another new place to start afresh. so....bye bye singapore. to be said sooner or later.
to somewhere no one know me. with my better controlled character to make friends. stop myself from being shy.

i hope to do something to my damn teeth though i noe every part of me is a gift of god. am i allow to do or touch them? touch as in you noe? sending them under the knife.
every part of me is flesh and blood gifts from my parents. i wonder why i am saying this becuase i always have this idea of killing myself.

scaring you huh?

lol

my fragile heart please dun break any more? be yourself and be true to yourself. stop thinking of how the others think of you. be yourself you do not live because of others but yourself. the others do not live by you till you die. but only you yourself. i miss the real you. come back soon and stay till i lay under the cold cold soil.

searching for someone who can accept who i really am. not accepting me for some profits but because he really love me. searching the him that really love me no matter of my appearances or my character. I AM NOT IN LOVE OR DESPERATELY LOOKING FOR BF. dun think wrong alright? hur hur.

>.<

♥ a way to scare evon

Sunday, January 20, 2008

ok i am informing you one thing to scare evon

telling evon TVXQ (any member or all of them) involved in an accident.
HOLY SHIT. you can make me cry easily on that. really.
today 20 jan JAEMIN involved in an accident afternoon 1pm (not sure korean time or what). they are on the way to the fan meeting venue. HOLY SHIT!!! you noe what!! i was damn worried when i saw this news!! seabass was mentioning it on the tag board in the forum. you dunno how shocked i was. THEN ANXIETY. damn worried. really!! i tell you i almost cried out. but after reading the whole news article then i noe at least they are alright now.

minor injures that they are still able to attend the fan meeting. THANK GOD. if anything happened to them, be assure then tmr evon will be crying her heart and soul tmr. ok mama nagging. hallelujah...PUAHAHAHA why suddenly i feel like laughing leh? what's so funny?? weird me...ok gtg. byebye

♥ jan de 19

wow!! i haven't been here for quite some time^^ hahaha lol ANY ONE MISS ME? lol!!
my blog is so dead...no one visits here but who cares~~hahaha lol

quite a number of things happened this few days. sec 4 life is rather new to me like duh. working hard is like something i wou;d do when i am into it. haiz...i am missing junsu and db like almost everyday every hour every sec...i just watched TVXQ O CONCERT DVD!!! YAY~~~ junsu baby is so cute^^ bleahXP bias evon.

ok gtg now very late and tired...

PIANO DAISUKI~~~TVXQ AISHITERU!!
japanese? haha lol i am going to study japanese and korean~~ wahahaha
mmm JUNSU MAY WE MEET IN OUR DREAMS^^

♥ 15.01

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

沈昌珉，你再长高的话，你就试试看！186 已经很高了，拜托不要再长高了。。你让我好自卑啊。。。你是不是故意的！！很有嫌疑哦。。
changmin ah....stop growing...please i beg of you...you grow till 188 le ba? the fans are saying you grow till at least 188 le. stop growing!! you freaking tall tall person!! haiz...

oh just watched E.H.B ep2 of tvxq and suju. wakao...junsu run super fast de...and i cheered for him worried for him and all la. why cheer? cos want him to beat siwon. LMAO sorry.....but who ask junsu to be my idol leh....^^
any way he won!!! PUAHAHAHAHA
can you imagine he can touch the ball from like 10m? from the button that release the ball from 7m above? aish....and junsu you you go feel eunhyuk's heartbeat for what!!! jealous...but at least better than...mmm okok.... ~~better than feeling any other woman's~~ ok...

micky and yesung can call themselves the brothers liao.

JAEJOONG IS A FREAK LA!!! i tell you that crazy guy taste that pepper that is 100 times hotter can say it taste like fruit. YOU KI SIAO AH? freaking hot can? still say go add this in the dish will be tastier. someone go see if jaejoong's taste buds are ok. SERIOUSLY LA!!! >.<>.<
and junsu's expression of the effect of that pepper is cute^^

and junsu in my "playlist" keep swaying and moving...i swear he gonna fall off the chair if he keep swaying and moving lo!! was very worried about him la...but he didn't fall of the chair so....heng heng^^ and the sitting position he had is damn HOT AND SEXY. SMEXY HOT~~ is like argh....attracted...

post lotsa stuffs in forum and what else? i forgot liao. ok good bye my friends till next time!!

♥ one liter of tears

Friday, January 11, 2008

time flies....tvxq now have ended their vacation. back to the seems to be endless work. and as for me my journey seems endless. with anxiety and nervousness fills me everyday, i walk each day with hope.

sorry i dunno how to continue that paragraph already cos...i have no idea...haha

tmr i suddenly dun feel like buying the hat or whatever with my aunt....just suddenly i dun have this mood. any way i was watching one liter of tears ep 1 just now....damn boring cos i have watched it before already, haiz...

was listening to some old songs i have in my com and a sudden of comfort in me. i wonder why these old songs which i have not listened to a long time, gives me such....enjoyment. i wonder.

i miss junsu so much. i wished to meet him soon but as day goes by i starts to wish i never met him before. i wished i returned back to the time i never got to know him. sometimes wishing i never lived. a sudden depression. a sudden downpour. a sudden tiredness.

the road to success is long and tiring. i dun noe if i have this much of time to overcome the long waiting time to success or the energy to overcome the tiredness. i dunno if i could hang on. even now, i dun even noe what i am doing here. searching for the purpose of life. envy of loving couple envy of happiness smiles. i envy all happy moments. i envy lovers to be able to get together. i wished junsu to be mine hahaha but......

♥ the forth day

Monday, January 7, 2008

this is the forth day of school seventh of jan 2008, can't believe my life sux to the deepest core alright?

so you think house meeting was fun? why dun you go eat shit? yeah you will know just how sick it would be. i mean HELLO i am alone there ok? dun bother telling me about the classmates in the same house as me. let me rot away.

so you think tuition is good? why dun you face the reality that they make you feel even more stupid? you go there to insult yourself. and your tuition teacher gives you the DO-YOU-UNDERSTAND look. mmmm ALRIGHT. i got it you ass. dun give me the look as if i was so stupid. HELLO i understand la. ARGH sasaengi.

and what's worst when i tok to someone online with such enthu....she just said what bullshit what thinking what thinking. HELLO YOU THINK I WOULD BOTHER TOKING TO YOU? it was only because i saw tvxq ok? FUCK OFF man. dun make you kill me god like as if you got that guts. BRING IT ON. you think you can kill me but before that who knows if i had already did something to you? haha. WHO KNOWS FATE AND DESTINY? who knows next minute you lying flat at...mmm i dun think i wanna say. HA. BITCH.

alright people spoilt my day. thank you very much for being able to kill my day and me. ARGH. why dun you just stab me. fast and simple.

♥ the worst day of my life.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

so you think your life is bad? ok i think mine is. today is a totally spoiler!! if your birthday lands on this very day, i am so sorry to you. BUT I JUST HAVE TO CURSE 5 JAN 2008 IS A LOUSY DAY!!!

first, my dad sneezed. so what if he did? he sneezed on top of my hair equal to my hair? and you noe my dad's sneeze is damn smelly de. you noe at that moment how i wished i was dead? it was like WTF, DAD!!! argh. my hair...is yucky and disgusting. i was seriously bad mood that moment. ~~wallao eh disgusting la. FUCKING DISGUSTING~~ argh!! is it me unlucky or what....even ever my dad sneeze i have to run away cos the molecules of his sneeze moves and so unlucky they stinks...argh. i always pitied those people walking like at the basement when so unlucky my dad sneeze through the window. i pity myself. super unlucky. argh! i wouldn't tok to him like through the night. it stinks!!! argh...my hair my hair and my hands. argh....

second after that incident.....my big sister came. WTF. shan shan should noe the joke ba....i am xiao yi......so my big sis is da yi? and shan shan always call me da yi ma...you can roughly noe what i mean now...

unlucky day. argh....to think i was very high this afternoon noeing that tmr will be the day...argh....

junsu junsu junsu....i miss you baby....where the hell are you?? in japan or korea?? i saw pics of the other four returning back to korea then where are yours? where did you go? 你人在哪？好想你啊。。俊秀。。。在哪。。。宝贝，不能出事啊。。要是有什么三长两短，我也不要活了。俊秀，你到底在哪！！

oh and tvxq are having their vacation now!!! yay since new year!! hahaha they have i think 10 days of vacation!! YAY my new year resolution came true!! hahaha ok. hahaha i am happy because of that!!

yay....and changmin is really a very nice and good natured boy. he went for voluntary work at the start of his vacation with his dad. a good boy indeed. but i dun understand why people dun like him....perhaps becuase of their dun-look-deep mindset? mmm at first i dun like changmin too thinking he is not funny boring ugly. but today i shout out loud NO CHANGMIN IS A HANDSOME MATURE KIND NICE FRIENDLY MODEST BOY^^ very suitable to be my boyfriend although my type should be the one who can tell me jokes so as to make me laugh....that was how i got attracted to junsu ok....he made me laugh most of the time lo....so yeah....now you noe why i am a die-hard junsu lover. CHANGMIN IS DAMN HILARIOUS IN HIS UFO REPLIES.

so to those fucking ugly bitch and bastard who keep saying changmin's not good, please take your mind and eyes to look careful, give him a chance. give yourself a chance to understand him more.

and if you are my friend who earlier told me that you didn't like changmin i am not calling your bitch arh...so dun misunderstand ok. thank you>.<

mmm ok...i am posting again. IN FORUM. when i promised myself not to touch it. but argh!~~~ i have this misson to continue the dong bang love ESPECIALLY WHEN THIS BLOODY SO-CALLED CASSIOPEIA now not i guess SAID THAT LOVING TVXQ WAS SO OVER AND OLD. fuck you man.

you playgirl, i detest you and look down on you who abandon tvxq. mmmm speaking of which...didn't i abandon 5566....ah....ok change topic then.

XIAH JUNSU WHERE ARE YOU!!! i am looking for a korean guy age 21 at the height of 178 with a cutie face who has a angelic and dolphin like voice. last saw on a new year programme in japan. currently have no info on his whereabout. those who spots him any where on this earth please call 9789**** to inform me thank you. I SERIOUSLY NEED TO NOE WHERE HE IS TO CONFIRM HIS SAFELY.

♥ 2 jan 2008

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

time goes by and today is 2 jan 2008.

first day of school. let me tell you my day in school and the things i did today.

first day of school what can you expect? new teachers....blah blah....teachers left teachers came....blah blah...and Principal toking....blah blah....my form teacher, my classroom....blah blah...

ok so my form teacher turn out to be a new teacher a guy. and a super weirdo. i dunno why he introduce to us his personal life? mmm i dun really wanna noe la but now i now his wife is 4 months pregnant. WTH man...he was kinda ignored by us becos you noe our class is the super disrespectful and noisy class. now i rather wan my former form teacher to come back. this teacher i have to get my O's result from him? arrrr.....and he keeps saying the wrong words man....sighs....

then went out to eat ban mian, htl, then basketball. tired evon reporting. then back home went htl AGAIN. then to aunt house. on the way back in the bus, i saw steph.yeo and moy kit....haiz...no topic to talk to them so is super embarrassing. then they got off i sat till my aunt's house that bus stop. eat dinner....sleep....went home...almost get bang from the car i didn't notice...SHIT MAN. my heart almost jumped out good thing my reaction is good if not you guys will be seeing me in ICU. ah!! scary....came back like around 9.15 and slept to 9.45. bathe and went to do lit homework which eventually i can't do cos it is damn bloody hard. ARGH.

haiz...alrights....TVXQ BACK IN KOREA!!! but only jaejoong changmin and yoochun. yoonho and junsu stayed in japan for a few days more. what the *peep* haiz...let them all come back at once la....break them up for what....STUPID!! hahaha ok...

i miss my TVXQ boys....i wonder how are they...mmmm*thinking cap on* haiz...headache now...dunno how to do my lit homework can...haiz...

bless me then.

♥ 2008

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

the scary 2008 is here and why is it so....because i am sec4 already!!! hahaha i am old and O'S are here.

now i am gonna make my new year resolutions!!

TVXQ TO BE HEALTHY AND HAPPY AND SAFE^^
TVXQ TO COME SG!!! (i am waiting!!!)
TVXQ TO GET A VACATION ( i want them to rest so badly)
TO WORK HARD AND TURN HARD WORKING
TO SCORE WELL IN MY STUDIES
TO BE ABLE TO SING AND DANCE WELL AT THE SAME TIME (is it silly??)
TO BE HAPPY AND HEALTHY AND STILL MYSELF (i dun wanna change myself...haiz)
EVERYONE TO BE HAPPY^^
GET MY KOREAN LANGUAGE AND JAP LANGUAGE DONE!!!
FRIENDS AND FAMILY TO BE HAPPY AND HEALTHY!!
WORLD PEACE!!!!
AND EVERY SINGLE GOOD THINGS TO COME.
AND EVERY SINGLE DREAMS TO COME TRUE.

junsu dear you have to be good ok^^ hahaha i will be leaving you this year. god i am saying this but i am hoping to forget you and tvxq this year. i have to let you go for my studies but i wonder if i could do so. i hope my life goes on....as per normal now. junsu....i am not giving you up but letting you go for some time. 1 year perhaps? no last than a year....so....yeah. i dunno if i have this strength to go on without you but.....i could i guess. i thnk i will still check on you on weekends one once during weekdays. ^^ i am a good junsu lover^^ JUNSU I LOVE YOU

and my 31 dec the last day of 2007 was great. i love the friends who made my day. i really do. ^^ eeee...haha everyday in my life because of your presence i feel my heart beating. (of course with my family!! i need them so much!!! AN JUNSU~~~) thank you for the days you accompanied me this whole year of 2007. THE LAUGHTER THE SMILES THE GOOFY-NESS THE TEARS THE ANGER WHATEVER made memories in my head. REALLY. thank you thank you so much. a wonderful year a wonderful 2007.

and 2008 arrival....is something i never thought it will be here so soon. time flies i guess^^ mmmm love the people around me really. they make my day!!! haha

DEAREST TVXQ, LOVE YOU ALOT!!! AND MY DA GE EUGENICE MY JIE JIE JIA PING DE LAO ZI SHAN YEE SHAN DUI MIAN DE XIAO SHU HUI MIN MY QI ER ZHI ER MABEL DUI MIAN DE LING QU PEILING. clique!!! the YINGS family!!!

I LOVE TVXQ ALOT!!!! AND SOMEDAY I WAN JUNSU TO HAHAHAHA shit i am daydreaming again when it is like 2:18 am in the morning....aish...