Entries of life ★

it is kinda pathetic for me these days. i seem to be in a bad mood everyday since....
since....* came into my life. destroys everything but later flirting with person. kinda disappointed.didn't expect * to be this way. i was quite affected. kinda worrying in my case. let me forget about * let time heal everything.

everything seems to change. family dun seem to understand me like they do when i was younger. maybe i have changed? have they not realise my change? suddenly i feel leaving my family and live by myself. do you noe that i feel insecure beside my dad. he looks like he is after me. i hope you do get it.

perhaps i need freedom or Independence.

i want things to go back what it should be before "they" came into my life. i wanna my love for junsu to come back. not like it has ever left me but not that strong. i wan that strong urge of junsu to come back. you noe what i mean right...

i want everything to come back to normal the change of my life...i can't adapt to it. sorry.
but i do wanna try changing of environment. like shifting house or even the place i am living. such as moving in to korea!!

i so wanna be with tvxq everyday but which is impossible.

haiz...perhaps i have mature for what i look at my dad now is childish. what he do right now which i consider funny then are childish now. sorry dad but that is what i feel. really dun live in the past. ok i am like stabbing myself with the different stands of mine.

i said to stop living in the past and there up there i am living in the past praying for things to go back normal like the last time.

ok...

i wanna abandon everything now. so stress with life. is this what it should be?
perhaps i am not meant to be a human on earth.

ok i feel damn hot now. singapore is so hot i wonder how long i can survive in here. i will soon fly away dun worry.