suddenly i find everything very irritating. i hate this feeling i have now. the feeling of getting ignored. the feeling of trying to get attention when you already noe people are ignoring you. please sense my presence. if not i really get fed up. i really dun wanna be a clown entertaining people. ok i am done scolding my damn self. i hate myself for being like this. i hate myself to be this way, so irritating. ARH!! blast myself away.

any way i am starting to miss my sis and parents. they all went up to genting at this critical moment of my sec 3 life. arh!!! i wanna go too. OK NOW, I FEELING DAMN IRRITATED!! shee...i find everyone and any one irritating. why am i this way. i feel so fucked off of myself. why can't i be natural in front of strangers. i can't la...that's why i feel so fed up of myself. haiz...i guess this is one common thing between junsu and me perhaps.

at least junsu is more lovable. haha. i noe i can be irritating at times. and i do hate myself for that. i hate myself for not being enough friendly or whatever. sometimes, i do wish to end my life and stop everything from getting worst. ok i regretted playing basketball. nothing is right. i feel like a piece of shit. sudden state of depression.

damn it, junsu is in Brazil that faraway land. shit i missing him already. why is he that far?? in Brazil?? i miss him. baby when are you coming back? i miss you already.

missing people is this painful. LOVE TRULY HURTS. i always think love is so nice because you are loved. but now the one i love is not by my side and i am just finding pain to suffer. FUCK myself for that. but i do still love junsu.

i swear i wanna hit and stab myself.

arh!! what's wrong with my damn self? i getting so irritated with myself. GRRR!!

go away saturn.

arh!!!!!!!!!!! just feeling this bad. VERY VERY BAD! even tvxq can't even calm me down. JUNSU WHERE ARE YOU? haiz...i didn't get to see you these few days. no pic and video of you. shit i am too dependent on you. too addicted to you.

grr! fuck off myself.

ok....i just wanna say many times of bad words but junsu is singing now...shit i can't say any now. dun feel like saying already. thanks junsu^^

haiz...why am i getting so depressed?? because i dun find comfort. damn MATHS! making me feeling this way.

tell you what really irritated myself!!! grr because i can't stand myself. everything look wrong to me.

i wan my er jie back and mummy and daddy back to my side cos i seriously dun feel normal. i feel so empty.

damn spelling mistakes what the fuck is wrong with me? i keep typing wrongly. FUCK FUCK FUCK.